I am excited for 2009. It means I approach one year closer to death. I can start running again and start mountain biking in again. I can practice losing my patience in a more succinct and effective way, not just randomly and haphazard. I can approach life with a less cynical point of view and concentrate on the positive. I can open my heart just a little more and not be so closed off. I teach my children something meaningful. I can watch less TV, listen to more enlightening music. Shoot my gun more. Take work to a new level. Drink less soda and e- drinks. Enjoy living a little more, embrace 35 and knock down the prideful just a little. Remember to never hold grudges. Awesome!!
The burning sensation worked its way like a snake slowly zigzagging its way up my body, my lungs burned with each breath like daggers piercing my throat, bright lights flashed in my dizzy mind. The tears were long gone dried like a cruel paint in a wind strewn pattern accross the side of my face and cheeks. I dry heaved convulsing, Was this a bad dream?, My hands would not stop shaking.
I will deviate from my normal mindless course of unpopular music and weird rants to touch on a subject I am inadequately qualified to talk about. For the first time in many years the true meaning of Christmas has touched my cold and callous heart. I happened upon one of those BYU education week replays from 2004. This one was entitled The Passion of the Christ". It was a response or clarification of the doctrine of the LDS church regarding the Atonement. My eyes were opened and I was blessed with a small dispersion of the miasma of my hard heartedness. In an instant the peace I so often seek set upon me and oddly still remains. My heart is full of gratitude for my Savior whom I imperfectly worship and for the understanding that peace can be found in this life through him that broke the bonds of death and suffered unimaginably so that each one of us can obtain eternal life.
If you have spent any time in the South then you may have had biscuits and gravy. The Olympus Grill in SLC made some good b and g may they rest in peace. We had some excellent southern fare tonight, it may have not been authentic red-eye gravy but it was probably better that it wasn't.
Many years ago I went to the Doctor, Dr. Patterson to be exact. He prescribed the Orb. The Orb was good causing many hours of funky beats. Then one day I found the Blue Room single at Zia's. 40 + minutes of ambient dub house genius. While the Orb might not fit your aural needs to me they are the best of the best
This is Assassin enjoy if you dare.
Finally I have a comic book based series of movies to get excited about. We watched Iron Man the other day and then we watched the Incredible Hulk last night. I 'm a big fan of Edward Norton and Tim Roth. I love the cameos of Stan Lee and I can't wait to see how the "Justice League " turns out.
For two years have have struggled to make it on my own only to realize I can't do it on my own.
Iron Man. So we don't watch alot of movies anymore, because ...well I 'm not sure. Maybe it's the lack of faith I have in the movie industry at coming up with anything worth watching. I really don't care for bad language...so Iron Man was great. It held my attention and I even forgot Gwenyth was in it. Bonus! It was intense, cool gadgetry and what kid ..er guy has not wanted to fly in a cool titanium alloy suit. Once again the only good terrorist is a dead one.
I can't get enough of the Specials right now. This is an erie one and super chill.
Thanksgiving was great, The Cold turkey was fun as always. Thor ran it this year. It was great weather. My parents made us all a great thanksgiving dinner. It was a good time. My brother thought it would be funny to make a balloon animal that wasn't really and hand it to my Grandma. I was afraid she might have a coronary. It did help that he added details with a marker. Chelli 's Sweet taters were awesome, I don't get the haters on the taters.
Yes Lori's pies were awesome as well.
Peace and pray for the Indians...
So What do you all think of the new look? Love it right???
1. Twilight is not for guys.
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris (well the second floor)
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
Don't ask. Just do or do not.
I never tire of this song from the Cult. It reminds me of driving the streets of Phoenix with my friends.
I wake up 6:52 nearly every morning after hitting snooze since 5:30. Why? It keeps me sane. The short dreams are an amalgamation of genius and acid trips running through my brain. If anyone knows me they know of my weird dreams. Dreams that I am other people, dreams of co-workers, dreams of people I have never met. Dreams of strange places, impossible situations with the occasional out right nightmare. I embrace my dreams, I occasionally write them down. I learn valuable lessons from them and they keep my sanity intact.
Why can't I shed a tear
Why can't I feel fear
Why can't I forget my dreams
Why can't I rip the seams
Why can't I break my gaze
Why can't I live for days
Why can't I drive in rain
Why can't I strive and feign
Why can't I talk on time
Why can't I walk the line
Why can't I steal your name
Why can't I feel the same
Why can't I pull the trigger
Why can't I be bigger
pray and make it!
Why can't I see my self in spite of myself?
Sullen, drowning, blasted, forlorn, in transient....
Where is the rythymus blieben,
where is the freedom to not be free anymore,
I have no accountability, I have no more,
my soul is torn, my life reformed,
dead to mourn, fresh to scorn.
take and make me
The Slackers make me laugh and want to dance check out the Nurse.
Fizzy poison, running in my veins,
Tripping over words, no more bad stuff,
No , not now
Clear my mind
heart over beating all the time.
Too Hectic of my own design
I don't find many new bands or songs that I like, but I liked this one. It reminds me of Andrew Wood of Mother love Bone.
Jen-Knee, just keeping with the theme...
Digital impress with heels dragging the dirty world of bizarre luxo-fembots.
Click, click click werve-ing side to side the flutter of thumbs and the chomping of gum,
Spittle strewn pathways de-ride the mind.
I sat on the bench under the dying cypress watching with my black 10 dollar sunglasses purchased at Bill's Gas n' go in Recita.
My pulse raced as I glanced at my day-glo timex. She will be here any minute. Sweat trickled down my back my neck twitched.
The message scrawled on the Starbucks napkin said to meet here at 12--,
Was it supposed to be midnight or was I crazy for even beliving she could help me.
I twisted the napkin in between my fingers rubbing the skin raw.
My temples pounded in anticipation. I contemplated running. Just get up and leave I kept telling myself, this is stupid. I began to feel light headed the sun reflected off the metal pseudo-art children playing games long forgotten.
Now a days children lucky enough to leave their television, Nintendo infused cages played on manufactured fun sets. Long lost are the days of free roaming down in a stream building a dam and playing war with your pals until the sun went down.
Tick Tick tick sick sick sick wrenched my stomach riddled with knots , I wiped my sweaty palms on my suit pants.
I remember catching a large millipede in the field behind our house. It put off some toxin that made my hands smell and made me nauseated, like now.
In the distance the black hair was unmistakable. Here she comes. Black tank top, black sunglasses sweeping side to side. I wanted to hide under the bench...... I was mesmerized , just kill me now I thought. Oh well! I discretely raised my hand....
I try not to hate but there are some minir annoyances that plaque my sensibilities.
1. Blatant hypocrisy
2. Holding grudges
3. Cigarette smoke
4. Lame excuses
5. Speaking ill of those who lead
6. Burned agains
7. Solicitations in all ther nefarious forms
8. School fund raisers
9. Liberal elitists
10. Conservative bigots
12. Diapers (dirty)
13. Not remembering my dreams
14. Apostates in sheeps clothing
15. Hollywood in general
16. Sports fanatics (lunatics) The unbalanced ones
17. Not wearing a helmet
18. Rap errr hip hop music
19. Sierra Club/Rocky Anderson
21. New World Order
22. Tooele Corrupt politics
25. Most reality TV(a few exceptions)
26. My own procrastinating ways
27. The noise the freaking noise
28. Parents that let there little ones roam free.
Duct tape anyone!!!
I like to drink out of glass jars, I like the way Coca Cola tastes in glass jars. I like the UFC. I like seeing two guys beat the crap out of each other. I like roast beef that comes from a cow and is so tender if flakes away when you touch it. I like reading in the bath which I haven't done for months. I like the rain and thunder storms with really close lightning. I like VW Beetles. I like 51 Mercury's. I like music that is deep and makes you think or invokes a primal drive and excites the senses. I like the solitude of the wilderness. I like trip hop which is nothing like hip hop. I like freakin ' America. I like pestering uptight people. I like outgoing people. I like the light that shines through the stained glass and reflects off the chandeliers in the waning hours of the day in complete peace. I like enjoying the simple things. I like listening to people. I like chocolate. I like the Pixies. I like the people I work with. I like the joking around. I like being unserious. I like long walks ...just kidding. I like hot chocolate all year long. I like crepes. I like Richard Wright may he rest in peace. I like high hopes. I like optimism. I like seeing my friends succeed. I like Facebook.
Maybe I'll do a things I love list. There may be some crossover.
I am trying to reorganize my life, I feel rutted to some bad habits, such as staying up way to late, playing WOW, not exercising drinking to much sewduh and what not. I feel like the world is caving in at an accelerated rate. It was nice to sit on the padded benches for the stake conference. It was just me and Nat and she was really pretty good especially for over two hours. They messages don't change but I hear them differently now. I need to change things up. September and October usually fly by at a high rate and I rarely remember what happens during the month. I wish I could slow time.
Before Alt. music I was a classic rock, some heavy metal and the KUPD!! err KBER kind a guy.
Thats all good, but who can forget this gem.
I hear this song every day on 100.3. I actually owned the album. Don't ask
The music obsession continues. Whe alternative music was alternative, bands such as this Fruer were around, but no one heard of them because they were not mainstream Top 40 drudge.
Yes I am a fan of the truly alternative. Fruer became Underworld. REM became big. The Cure is still around. Stan Ridgeway is awesome. The La's, Erasure, DM, Camouflage, The Lightning seeds, Mother Love Bone(fed Pearl Jam and Soundgarden), Pere Ubu, The Wonderstuff on and on. Any way enjoy Fruer.
I went to Priesthood for the first time in over a year, (no not because I haven't been to church, I've been in Primary). It was like going back to college after taking some time off. I felt a little out of place.. Why are you using such big words so early in the morning? This is really dissecting the issue can I have some candy? Why won't you give me some candy? Look at me I'm crazy knife in the head guy...I digress. In all seriousness I felt inadequate and a little out of place. So I haven't been keeping up on a real strenuous gospel study plan. Not obvious is it. That's the thing about my church, they expect you to study and continue to strive to be better. Novel idea I know. Sunday school was decent, again dissecting the pride cycle. (Note to self where am I in the cycle right now). I think I am at the I need to humble myself and suffer to get back on course. Let's see if I can prevent any major destruction personally. Pride=destruction (fact).
It became painfully clear all the things I need to change. I have become comfortably numb in a lot of respects. This last year and a half has been hell on me emotionally, mentally and shows no signs of letting up, but since I hold everything in never fear all is well. Maybe if I had kept up on a regular study plan..hmmm... Anyway no excuses, move onward and upward.
its late Bye for now...
These guys De/Vision are excellent in my opinion. Rob K introduced me to them a few years ago.
I am all about finding the new and the different. Doesn't matter what country , gender, or style.
My head is buzzing from a freaking awesome concert. They played amazingly with some incredible stage setups that is hard to describe. Wish, Terrible Lie Head like a hole, Hurt, on an on. Wow I won't fall asleep for a couple of hours. I have always wanted to see them and I am glad I did. They played some awesome new instrumentals. Definitely not Coldplay Trent.
It was fun to go with Jen, Stacie and Adrian. ------NIN-----
PPPPPPPP, the seven P's of performance was drilled into my young mind in my jRotc class in high school. If you ever want to know which class had to most profound effect on me and you have an hour or two ask me about rotc. Any way. Proper -prior planning prevents piss poor performance. This was always followed by the "YOU DO NOT ASSUME, WHEN YOU ASSUME YOU MAKE AN ASS OUT OF YOU AND ME" IS THAT UNDERSTOOD--/aye aye sir!
Yes I can march, I can drill and I had Nukes in High School as a class. Off the books of course.
I also saw Officer an a gentleman more times than I can count. " Texas!!! Only TWO things come from Texas!!! Steers and Queers!!! And I don't see any horns!!! Are you Queer son!?
Good times!!!. I like pain I guess cause I took all 4 years.
Yeah ...so today we were exchanging cars up in Bountiful and I sat down in the drivers seat after putting Nixon behind me in his cars seat. I felt two little feet push in my back through the seat, I reached around to see if he could reach the seat with his feat...oh wait the car seat is rear facing.
Maybe I am crazy but I felt two feat in my back. Hmmmm. Just thought I 'd share.
There is so much right about this video.
I recently found an friend on Facebook, who coincidentally introduced me to the following band as well as the Smiths, Front 242 and Kool Moe Dee. If you ever want me to sing Kool Moe Dee for you just ask. Just say Wild Wild West.
Anyway XTC is a unique band, I think the creators of Dr. Who got a hold of this video.
OK T! Yes the See Emily Play Song probably an LSD song, seeing how Syd burned himself out on drugs. Enter one of my favorite artists of all time David Gilmore. A Momentary Lapse of Reason is probably my most listened to album of all time from begining to end.
I was watching Freak s and Geeks, which is awesome , however they were putting the Greatest band in the world in a bad druggy light. So in response to that. Pink Floyd achieved musical brilliance. From "wish you were here" Darkside of the Moon" The Wall, Animals. I love music that takes the listener on a journey. The music was the escape. I had the Wall and Darkside memorized at one time.
Take this excerpt from Animals. Doesn't sound like freaky drug music to me.
Ok so I admit, this is a little psychedelic.
To be continued....
It's been a different weekend. Scavenging for change, followed by a cool movie on the lawn experience watching Penelope. I actually enjoyed the movie, I had never heard of it before. Yeah it wasn't action packed but it had a sense of humor. (Thanks Dave and Gabrielle). The weather was perfect except for a slight screen moving breeze. Saturday cleaning was interrupted by a call to go help with baptisms at the SLC temple. This reminded me of the time the safety pin broke that held the key to my locker and proceeded to fall in the urinal during mid flush. I had quick reflexes of course and immediately grabbed the pin with keys attached. It's spring loadedness wedged itself in the narrow part of the urinal. I held it precariously in the water as the auto flusher kept flushing. " Ray hold your hand up to the sensor so I can get my keys out! I said in a panicked whisper. I was victorious and only slightly pricked by the pin. Good times. Yesterday was not so eventful, but an awesome experience nonetheless.
Today was a challenge with far to much to talk about.I did learn the Famous Dave's Devil's Spit is quite good on pork chops. The ward had a all men's choir singing "I love the Lord" . It was good but it being my favorite song right now I expect MoTab quality. I thought it was gutsy to try the song. It did have some cool moments that were almost perfect.
I lent this cd to someone awhile back, I forget who, but I miss it. Asleep in Back is the name of the Album.
So I made crepes tonight, they sounded good, they were not too bad. I went outside and sat on my porch and the wind shifted and I could smell the ash tray of death that sits on the adjoining porch. The smell reminded me Denny's especially since I just had breakfast for dinner. That reminded me of my friends brother Rynn. Rynn is as cool as they come and a one of a kind person. I actually wish I had kept in touch with him. Anyway one late night at a Denny's possibly Paradise Valley Rynn brought his Fischer price cassette player and proceeded to play the Levellers. So in tribute to Rynn and the cassette player and stale cig smoke. Enjoy the show.
I saw these guys live, one of my favorite shows of all time.
Why do we care? We had a discussion about politics today at work. I left feeling the frustration that I think most people feel right now. Gas is down nation wide but not in Utah, Obama scares the heck out of me. Iran is in manipulation mode(What's their endgame huh liberal pinko commies?) McCain speaks well but will he deliver.
My heart is heavy right now, but I have a glimmer of hope. This hope I fear writing because it is intensely personal. Nonetheless it is there.
I feel free because I do not feel the need to judge everyone I meet. Does that mean I need to be naive. No! I try to see people as they are and as they can become. That is not an easy task because some people's outer exterior portrays hardness, rebellion, callousness. Sometimes the most evil are in the expensive suits with the starched collars. The fake plastic smiles and the hollow eyes. Drug induced stupors, nicotine constricted capillaries.
Just one fix, one thrill, one fling. No sting no consequences....yet.
Still there is hope, there is happiness beyond measure, the smiling face, the light filled eyes, the bright countenance, glowing personalities the guileless and free. Sounds like my kids, wish it were me. I ran into an old mentor on Saturday, one who changed my life that still is in effect today. His family finally got the home they deserved in the hills of Bountiful. Close to one of my favorite places on this planet. The Bountiful Temple.
It brings tears to my eyes as I think about it. If only I could take an ounce of the pure joy that is associated with that sacred place and transfer it to those who have yet to enter.
Is it not our goal in life to be happy and free. When I say free I mean guilt free, lightened of our burdens and sins.The Savior of the world is the key.
I am very grateful for my parents, who help us out so much. They are great examples to me and they are adored by their grand kids. I hope to be like them if I ever grow up.
I have had the feeling I needed to read the biography of Elder Nelson that we got a few years ago. I have been in search of an inspirational book. On page 10 I was blown away. Linny you need to read this.
We changed our church around due to the addition of another ward to our building. I do love change, it awakens the mind and gets us out of our comfort zones. It was a good Sunday, the kids were not too crazy, my class was decent. We played Life with Addy and I won.
Bye for now.
PS We added a Chilean Rose o our family (Tarantula).
I was going to rant today, but instead I want to say thanks to those people who show up, do their duty, don't complain, always smile, go out of there way and generally enjoy existing. Y'all are my heroes..keep up the good work!!!!
errrr...Now the rant...
I hit a pretty low point today, some things did not happen, the class was out of control, the one kid that is usually the worst was the best, so props to him. It seemed alot of people slacked off today. They end up hurting the children ultimately. I hate feeling sorry for myself and I try to avoid depression, but I had to take a timeout today. I found it on the stairs where we send our kids to timeout. I approach most problems with a calmness, but I am just about out of it. I need a patience recharge. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, except for myself, I am probably not alone in that regard.
Dave spoke on apostasy today, I loved it, it is a topic that intrigues and scares me. I have seen several people I have respected apostatize. When does it begin? What are the consequences? Who else is affected? It scares me because it is fine line, a slippery slope and very few people are immune. I think everyone at least once in his or her life will be faced with the choice or path to apostasy. Some may face it several times, its how we make our choices and live our lives that make all the difference. Are we smart enough and humble enough to see the dangers and turn away?
SSSuuunnnaappp! This made me cry!
The toilet bowl water-the color of my energy- my blue heaven-Blue thunder-why do we tolerate the blue smoke-deep blue something-ocean colour scene-it wasn't a dream, were not what we've been. Rise above the din.
White is for the white board our home teachers used today for their lesson. My kids paid as much attention as a 2, 4 and 10 year old could. They talked about the Plan of Salvation. For those that don't know this is the plan instituted before the world was created, which will allow all the sons and daughters of God to return to that God which gave them life.
I appreciate having home teachers, they hold me accountable for how I am taking care of my family. They do not judge and are great men of God.
I was talking with Thor the other day about kids. We both agreed that life would not be the same without them. Today I went from a frustrating pooh frenzy to holding my little boy in my arms entirely innocent and angelic nearly making me cry.
I watched my kids play with there cousins at my parents this weekend. It made me extremely happy to watch how well they all played together, developing those bonds that will last a lifetime.
White is also for purity. This has to be worth more than all the gold in the world. The world is all about stealing the purity away from our kids. Natalie was upset the other day and she said "I want to be big in a voice that absolutely broke my heart. I told no Nat just be a kid don't worry about being big. I can stay pretty even keeled emotionally though out the day and at work, but 5 minute with my children and I run the gamut of emotions.
Lori asked me a scripture on marriage that was my favorite. The one that instantly came to mind was Moroni 7:45
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
(Book of Mormon Moroni 7:45)
I don't believe a marriage especially an eternal one will succeed without charity. I certainly have a long way to go, but I see marriages and hear of marriages crumbling all around, I can't help but wonder what an ounce of charity would accomplish.
Enough for tonight
We went to Hellboy 2 with Jason and Tim..I would give it 7 out of 10. It was better than the first in my opinion. Red and Abraham singing Barry Manilow funny and disturbing. It is all comic book, the way the scenes play out, comic book style. The plot was a little weak in places, it left me thinking well if they had done this then that wouldn't have been neccessary. Overall it was a fun movie. I wish it were a tv series. I wanted more. I love the characters and the premise.
MUCH thanks to my Mom and Dad for putting up with us this weekend. It was alot of fun to camp out and and go to the parade and barbeque.
I know I talk alot about the music I like and it is somewhat mindless and trivial, the fact is music has always touched my soul. I was joking that the Man from Snowy River was the first CD I ever bought with my own money. I payed full price at a Sam Goody in the mall. I hadn't discovered Zia's yet. I love the music that touches the soul in a positive way. I find it in the hymns of the restoration, classical music, jazz and occasionally an artist of the secular nature will put out a song that is genuinely good. I know how to tell if a song is good or bad. It' s all about how it makes one feel. (Feelings lead to thoughts , thoughts lead to actions)
I have been going through some internal struggles and trials like I have never before experienced in the last year where I would find myself turning to the hymns to calm my troubled mind and soul. I can honestly say they have saved me, they have kept me focused, they have cleared my head. I know my Redeemer Lives, how sweet and comforting that is. I know that I am not alone in this struggle to exist, this knowledge is intensely personal. Life is too short and I have often wasted it on the mundane an inconsequential. I don't mean to be preachy, I simply am trying to get my feelings out, which is a rare event. Just ask Lori. All of us part of a greater plan that goes far beyond the limited capacity of our minds. Unlocking the mysteries of life can be done if we pay the price. Once we find the answers, what do we do then?
I often get the urge to take a stroll down the pristine memory lane, what better to do so than with REM. This song reminds me of Dunkin Donuts and delivering papers with my Mom in Sun City to real old snowbirds. Nothing like coming off a date or dance or whatever on a Saturday night and jumping in the Blue Vanagan and heading to the drop off point. We would fold for a couple of hours and head out to the crispy clean trailer parks void of children and vibrant life. The ever awake venerable citizenry of Sun City anxiously awaiting the Sunday Paper in a time before the internet and the Drudge Report. We tried to avoid the multitude of lawn jockeys , pink flamingos, and pre-dwarf era lawn swag. I remember the occasion jokes and laughter, I remember the stultifying mundacity irritating each other. I can taste the brackish ink the blackness smearing on my sweaty skin and clothes. Rubber band this, bag the add filled bombshell, let it fly ---adrenaline rushing when we would hit something or make a loud whhaaack at 4:00 am. It was a unique time in the life of a 18 year old senior balancing school, church, a raging social life and occasionally family. The album was Eponymous, the band REM, the Van VW, the Donuts -awesome. The air not really cold.
My head is spinning in circles of black light, running down a path of red insight, streaming in a whirl of hhwwhite......dizzy frizzle mizzle dry.
Praise To the Man
Abide with me, Tis eventide
I love the Lord
Come Come Ye Saints
If You Could Hie To Kolob
I Believe In Christ
I know My Redemer Lives
Top Non-religious, infuencial bad and good,
Wish You Were Here
Another Brick in the Wall
Hold Me Now
Dead's Man Party
Smell"s Like Teen Spirit
Bizarre Love Triangle
The Great Commandment
That Smiling Face
Beds are burning
Jam on it
Blue Sky Mine
Cult of Personality
Pour some sugar on me
Talk dirty to me
Nothing but a good time
Modern day cowboy
Welcome home sanitarium
Favorite Albums (Must like nearly every song to qualify)
Wish you were here
Darkside of the Moon
Momentary Lapse of Reason
The Division Bell
Music for the Masses
Oingo Boingo Dead Man's Party
Diesel and Dust
Trompe le Monde
The Orb's adventures beyond the ultraworld
Brothers in Arms
Carnival of Lights
The Charlans UK
Between the 10th and 11th
This could go on forever...needless to say I have a music obsession...every bit of this is from memory.
I am obsessed with the Semisonic song below, love it.
We attempted to watch The Fantastic 4 Rise of the Silver Surfer.. can you say rise of the vomit up my esophagus. What piece of work, needless to say I didn't finish it. The next pile of steamy stink was Blades of Glory. I'm sorry, not a fan of figure skating and figure skating is not funny, it is tragic much like gymnastics. Kids sell there childhoods for gold medals. Beach volleyball on the other hand...primo. The only highlight of TV partaking was Battlestar, but even that was what the heck happened. The final 4 are revealed and bam they are at earth..oh sorry this is a plot spoiler. Earth is all post apocalypse and there is at least 10 more episodes.
I tried to get some of the primary kids to sing the songs in a German accent. I forgot the one kid lived in Germany, dang he was pretty good, a little too real. I justified it by "hey at least they are singing. " I have been in the primary now for over a year.
until next time....
SO I have run the gamit of musical interests..here is another blast from my warped past.
Today I found out I wasn't a psychopath (que the Toy Dolls). Thanks Cindi. I did discover how I cope with my fear of being in the spotlight. Yesterday we held the first showing of our film fest and I somehow ended up in 4 or 5 films out of the 10 shown. I remember the first time a few years ago. I was terrified. So much so I did not go to the opening show. I sneaked in the back at the second show when there were less people. It made me physically sick to think all those people I don't know or barely know will see me making a fool of myself. Let me rewind, when I was a small boy my mother made me take DRAMA at a community drama club for youth. It backfired. I grew up believing drama was another word for torture. I withdrew from society at a very early age. Why in the hell would I ever want to get up in front of STRANGERS and sing its a grand old flag with a gay hat on and sparkly vests. I know that evil lady is still tormenting kids to this day(The head of the torture club not my mom).
Future time! I am able to compartmentalize and trick myself into believing that it's not me. I actually attempted to act this time and by so doing I realized that indeed it wasn't me.
I am actually having fun with it finally after nearly 30 years.
I do like hats though?
Drink, Sex, Cigarettes
Ford Cortina household pets
Bombs? War? Famine? Death?
An apathetic public couldn t care less
The Public watches ITV
Reads The Sun drinks cups of tea
Two-star family stay content
Their lives controlled by parliament
Well daddy's lost his job again
Because he never had no brain
He only lives to watch TV
His life controlled by apathy
The Russians seem so far away
The government seems to be OK
The papers never mention war
Cos the people that they cater for have got:.
The things that you never knew were there
Or was it that you didn't care
The biggest problem face to face
An apathetic human race.
Lyrics by the Subhumans over 20 years ago. I think they were on to something.
This a tribute to one of my favorite bands. Shoegazers ....eh.
I thought this montage was brilliant. I love the gold thing and all the pelvic gyrations. I wear my gold thingy often. ...and no I'm not gay.
So we went to the Cure last night, it was good to be out with Lori kid free. We met Jen, Stacie and Thor and JEn at Charlie Chows for Dinner, then off to the concert. It was a good show and it was much like the last show I went to except for some new songs. They played for an eternity. I am getting old , I loved the first half, I wanted to leave during the middle and loved the end. They played a great version of the Forest followed by Boys Don't Cry 10:15, abd Killing an Arab..that was Awesome. It was late so we left, I don't know if they played any more. Overall a good time, but my concert days might be coming to an end....NIN maybe hmmmm. When you don't need earplugs anymore you might be getting old(ish)
.> 1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes
2. Have you ever smoked heroin? no
3. Do you own a gun? Yes
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? bad service
> 5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? Never had that kind of appointment
> 6. What do you think of hot dogs? I can't touch them.
7.Favorite Christmas song? O Nata Lux
> 8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? water.
9. Can you do push ups? 10 or 15
10. What do you order at Starbucks? hot chocolate
> 11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? wedding ring
12> Favorite hobby? mtnbiking if i can
>13.How do you eat your eggs? I don't, eggs are sick
14. Do you have A.D.D.? complete opposite
15. What's one trait that you hate about yourself? Procrastinator
16. Middle name? Bryan
17. Favorite book? The Rangers Apprentice at present
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: Chinese food, Gas, Babysitter services
19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink: Sprite, water, Gatorade
20. Currently worried about right now? Too much to mention
21. Current hate right now?? I am not a hater
22. Favorite place to be? Home with my fam
23. How did you bring in the New Year? games
24. Where would you like to go? Whistler
> 25. Name three people who will complete this: no
26. Do you own slippers? No
27. What shirt are you wearing? Fox Jersey
> 28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? Ahhh yeeeaaah
29. Favorite Movie? Evolution
> 30. Favorite color? blue
> 31. Would you be a pirate? No
> 32. What songs do you sing in the shower? Anything fom the Pixies
33.Favorite girls name? Lori, Addy, Natalie, Lucy
34. Favorite Website? Drudge
35. Any Tattoo's? No
36.Last thing that made you laugh? Nathan's atemp at communicating
37. Best bed sheets as a child? My star wars ones
38. Worst injury you've ever had? Ear shreddage
> 40. How many TVs do you have in your house? 3
> 41. Who is your loudest friend?Thor followed closely by Jay
42. How many dogs do you have? 0
> 43. Who do you hope has a crush on you? damn
44. Who is your favorite author? Vimce Flynn
45. What is your favorite candy? Kissables
> 46. Favorite Sports Team? Team Forrest
47. What is your favorite song? That Smiling Face
48. What were you doing 12 AM last? Watching The NCIS Finale
49. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Drained the vein
Whatever you political persuasion, I love this song.. it make me ponder ...
I look at my kids and I am humbled by them. They are so sweet and full of love and life. I heard a stat that kids need 20 minutes of one on one quality time with their parents a day. Lori gets an entire day with them, I see them for two to three hours. We send them off to bed and the I wake up. I wake Addy up and the day starts over. SO I have 2 to 3 hours to spend with 4 kids and try not to neglect my wife (which often happens). How often do they end up in front of the TV or pawned off on a babysitter(not enough maybe). It really makes me question my priorities. We only have these children for a brief time in reality. I am not a perfect person but I can strive to be perfect in making sure my family knows that I love them, it doesn't always have to be spoken but it should always be shown. If they don't know that I love them then I have failed indeed.
Being a Joy Division fan, behold a band emerges that sounds strangely similar, yet they are unique and completely awesome. I saw them a few years ago with the Cure. One of two things happen after concerts, I either never listen to the band again or I become a fan. For example: Social D, Dramaram, The Rollins Band, The Womderstuff, 3rd Floor, The Smoking Popes, the Bravery and Catherine Wheel. Conversely, I rarley listen to Rush, DM, Primus, The Killers, Crowded House, Bush, or the Candyskins anymore.
अमजिंग परफॉर्मेंस, अमजिंग सोंग
So I read my sis's blog it was quite inspiring. I though I would give it a try. 34 for the years I 've been.
1. Grandma Bonnie, she left this world when I was eight. I did not comprehend it at the time. I thought it was a cruel joke. She was a big part of my world as a kid. I have felt her close at times during my life, its a weird comfortable feeling.
2. Water. I love the sound of running water. It puts me in a zen like state. I remember as a small child laying at the door when my dad took a shower.
3. The water reminded me of trains. I love the sound of trains as well. One of my favorite albums is entitled "Chill out" from the KLF. They incorporate the sounds of trains throughout the album.
4. Music ,there was a time I was obsessed with music, eat drink sleep music. I would often fall a sleep with my walkman set to repeat on the cassette. I have since cut way back but I love to talk music and have very strong opinions on much of the low-rate tripe that spews out of the airways.
5. Patriotism: Love of country was instilled early in my life, whether through my Dad, scouting or JROTC. It was solidified in the 4 years of high school ROTC. I get choked up when I see the names of the men and women that died each week. The men and women who die for my freedom is a sacred thing, it infuriates me that the politicians and the media tie their hands and get them killed.
6. Microbiology: I find the world of the unseen organism that surround us fascinaiting.
7. Books: I was an asthma shut -in for a good portion of my early years. I read alot, Grandma Alta got me into the Westerns. This is another topic too large for now.
8. Robert Doyle: Some of you know him most of you don't. He was a youth leader that had a profound effect on me. He gave me a compliment one day that changed how I thought about myself and it has become a mantra on how I try to live. He passed away when I was in NC on my mission. He was around my age now when he died.
9. The desert: I love the desert, the Sonoran to be specific. I love the early mornings when everything is alive. Many hours spent looking through Arizona highways. Sedona, Moab, Arches.
10. Techno: love hate love hate love.
11. The hotel: a special kind of hell, but it was where I met Lori. Only those that worked there know what I mean. Maybe everyone has had a soul sucking job.
12. Alpha (tragic) I loved my time working for the Alpha team. I met the coolest people over the 4.5 years. It got me through school and helped me keep my sanity.
13. I am a libertarian at heart, I want to be free, free to have a good time hey come on lets get loaded. (primal scream).
14. I like to quote obscure lyrics and watch peoples expressions. The more confused the better.
15. I run for the pure challenge of it. It is not fun, it is work.
16. There exists a strange video created by Travis, Cliff and others that I hope was destroyed.
17. I miss the traditional mosh pits. There was a time when it was a controlled chaos of fun.
18. My brothers and I fought like mad growing up. Maybe that is why we get along now. I am proud of their success's in life. My sisterss are rocks of strength.
19. Addy is my independent daughter that I wish I could show her the potential I see in her.
20. Natalie is a kindred spirit, going through the early asthma trials with her solidified a deep bond. I think I have a glimpse of what my parents went through with me.
21. Nathan makes me smile when he walks into the room. He is a unique and funny little guy. Smart as a whip and tough as nails. If his sister hadn't taught him to cry he rarely would.
22. Johnny Nixon. Wow, It would not be a stretch to say my children make life worth living.
23. Lori Ann. We have been married 11 or 12 years. We have been through the grinder of life together and have come out stronger than ever. I love her now more than ever.
24. Non sequiter--Radiohead is one of the best bands.
25. Pink Floyd brings out such deep and sometimes painful memories I can rarely listen to them any more. Specifcally A momentary lapse of reason.
26. I am an observer, I see things going on around me , my nicknames were Gumby, Radar and Peanut in High School. As well as being called by my last name.
27. Mesa Temple: Suffice it to say this is one of the most sacred spots on the planet for me.
28. I miss my Phoenix friends still after all these years. I see a couple on occasion.
29. I have an intense desire to learn the guitar and the saxophone.
30. My favorite song is That Smiling Face by Camouflage.
31. Ironing is zen.
32. I never wanted to exist after my 18th birthday, (how I have changed).
33. I love U2 up through Achtung Baby.
34. I tend to only see the best in the people I am close to or who I consider friends. I have learned to never be offended and never hold a grudge, like I said I want to be free.
Three of my favorite artists on one stage....wow
Sit back, relax and enjoy
This is another classic I had forgotten about.
Wow, I forgot about this one...incredible.
As I get older and life flies along at a break neck speed, it is the quiet moments I look f forward to. The Sabbath seems to be a source of real rejuvination for me if I use it for such. The tv has to be off for most of the day if not all. My heart has to be framed for the spiritual. This means that church and the sacrament must be attended. I have found peace in the hymns. " I love the Lord" I know my Redeemer lives and O Nata Lux have calmed my soul on many occasions. It funny when I have a very calm uplifting Sunday I find myself wanting that the rest of the week. The trick is to feel that way on Friday.