I'm obscured by my thoughts, constantly lost in a stare. The conversation isn't good, this is serious. I cannot proceed. Not now...men in black, faceless apparitions line the halls of my mind. Wisping dangerously through the tarnished thoughts. A glint of hope, a trigger of salvation, a break in the normalcy of degradation.
Approximately 9 years ago I was recording a show at 1:30 am on KRCL on tape. I listened to it the next day and discovered a new band that changed my musical interests for awhile. For better or worse the band was Covenant and the song was Dead Stars. It was instantly appealing and somewhat like a harder DM. I went to Graywhale yesterday and picked up Northern Light by Covenant. I listened to it from start to finish and loved every minute of it. So...
More! I want More! Listening to the Sisters of Mercy and really enjoying it. After American Midol I need to wash the bad taste from my brain. Even the really good performances aren't that good. I guess I always hope for More! Great Sister's song"More". Most people probably would be appalled by it, so not sure why I love these guys so much.
The quiet hollow cold dry feeling of February came back today. This was the month I left NC and came to the bleak dead land of SLC. A few weeks later I was tearing out hotel rooms wondering what the hell I was doing here. I had that feeling again, triggered by a song from the first CD I bought. Come undone by Duran Duran. I see the beauty of Utah now but it took awhile to appreciate it. 15 years later where do I find myself? A much different person? In many ways yes, but at the core the same. I just need a dehydrator now. I need to make some beef jerky. I need to get on a bike again. See my eyes again..dream alive again. Be ...
Note the trees because... they may be gone sooner than later
I have thought a lot about death and choices this week. I've thought about conspiracy theories and federal auditors. Do people still have their heads buried in the sand unaware of what is going on around them?
I have many things to be grateful for , my mustache, my calfskin wallet with no money, black socks and the surprise flash of freezing water on the faces of us all at work. Thank you..you know who you are. I found lots of good music this weekend, none of which I will share right now. I learned I still love the UFC and want Spike back. Gerald Lund is a good author but a bit formulaic. I ran for the first time in a month and I feel sore and hungry. I will read the Old Testament again this year, that actually excites me. I want to see "On the Waterfront " again. I want to bathe in the River Styx while singing Come Sail Away and Tales of Ulysses. I want to be an American and kick out all the commies. I wan to camp in below freezing weather because I can.